A (Gasp) Baby Post.

I'm here to tell you guys that....my best friend is pregnant. (Who thought it was me?) But, yes the best friend is pregnant! I'm super duper excited for her.

To be 100% honest, I was not thrilled when I heard the news. Her cousin and my other best friend Kelly told me. And I was all, shut the front door! At the time, the best friend and I were not speaking terms. I have to admit, I was pretty grudgey judgey at her.

She met Michael (her boyfriend and now baby daddy) about five weeks ago. They met online on a game and talked on the phone for probably about a month before he came down from Massachusetts and stayed the weekend. They fell in love that weekend, the next weekend were 'engaged', and most likely the same weekend they conceived the baby.

I was absolutely floored and in shock when I heard this. I just couldn't comprehend how someone she barely knew could mean sooo much to her. I was very judgemental. I was hurt as well. This man had just stepped into her life and completely pushed me out (or so it seemed). We fought, made up and fought again.

Then I took a step back and realized I was being impractical. This wasn't my life. She wasn't my daughter. She was my best friend. How dare I judge her?

So, last night we hung out.

We went to the baby store, she bought a body pillow because it's already hard for her to sleep. Which is a tad strange. I mean I've never been pregnant, so I assume everyone's body is different. But, she already has a tiny bump and her jeans don't really fit. Anyone know why? Her and I just both curious.

Then we went back to her apt and just talked. She was beaming with joy. Her face was happier than I've ever seen it. I told her how I felt. I was just scared and very concerned that he would leave her (lets hope not) or that he doens't really have as much as he says he does. She said those fears were in the back of her mind as well but she knew, with everything in her that he was the one.

We talked about baby names, they want Mitchell if it's a boy and Gabriella if it's a girl. I lovee those names. And I love her and her unborn baby even if it's just the size of an orange seed.

I will support her no matter what. I promise that to her. I'm so excited to be 'Auntie Nickie.' I'm excited to feel her baby kick and to throw her an awesome shower and be her maid of honor in her wedding, whenever they do get married.

To me it's really fast, but it's what they want, so I only hope the best for them. I'm in no hurry to have a child, trust me, and I can only hope when that day comes that she feels the same.

Congrats to my best friend forever. (even if you aren't gonna read this!)

An Unsent Letter.

Dear Best Friend,

  I  can't even begin to comprehend the news I just found out.  I'm a whole mix of emotions right now. I'm happy, scared and quite frankly pretty pissed. What have you gotten yourself into?

I'm happy because I know this is something you've really wanted. I know you've thought about this moment  your entire life. I know that you'll be amazing at it no matter what. I'm happy everything is falling into place for you.

I'm scared because I'm afraid to think what your parents might say or do. I'm scared because you barely know him and how sure are you that he won't leave? I'm scared you might not be financially ready. I'm scared something might go wrong.

And I'm pretty pissed because I think this is a very selfish thing you have gotten yourself into. I'm pissed because I don't believe you are financially ready. I'm extrememly mad because there are plenty of people out there that just can't even do this and here you are, doing it. There are people who have the money, who have the time, who yearn for what you are going to have. (Possibly me!).

 I'm still upset that your boyfriend took complete control of your life. I'm pissed that he got into our fights, our business and passed judgement on me. I'm also pretty mad that you ignored me, didn't say more than a word for me for the past five weeks and suddenly this happens and you expect me to just be okay with it? You expect me to accept what has happened.

Right now, I have no words for you, other than these that I have written. I don't know if I'll ever have the words for you. I wish you well in life. Maybe one day we can talk again, but right now I know I can't.

Sincerely,

 your bbff